This just in from Apple

Miniature Nuclear Reactor Developed to Power New Iphones...

United Nuclear Labs of Albuquerque, NM has revealed a miniaturized nuclear power module for the Apple Iphone. The module runs on Element 115 and is smaller than a match head yet contains more power than the Hiroshima atomic bomb. Apple has announced that the device will be included on all new Iphone 32 Gig and higher 3GS units shipping as of July 19, 2009. Concerned scientists at Lawrence Livermore Nuclear Laboratory are said to have warned Apple that the unit can be easily converted to a fission bomb with only a paperclip and a tablespoon of baking soda. An Apple spokesman replied "...that the interests of Iphone users transcend any silly concern over obsolete bombs that are unlikely to be used on US territory in any case. Progress will not be sacrificed out of concern for a few hysterical anti-bomb, hippie scientists." In response to the potential threat posed by this new unit, Apple has proposed restricting the purchase of baking soda under the anti-terrorism provisions of the Patriot Act.

Nobel Committee rescinds Obama Award
Breaking news!
Oslo, Norway October 15, 2009
....
In a shocking reversal, the Nobel Prize Committee this morning voted unanimously to rescind the award of the Peace Prize to Kenyan presidential impostor Barry Hussein O'bama. A committee spokesman said that the decision was made after assessing the outraged response of the American online community and in particular from the well known eccentric web site Amkon.net and that site's senior janitor Mr. Birther-Truther Skunk. "That boy is not only a lazy bastard but a Kenyan spy planted to disrupt our long and hard-won traditions of white superiority and patriotism," said Mr. Skunk in an exclusive BE News interview.

More on this story as it develops. Please stay tooned.

The Whole Foods forum! Be there of be square!

After a long hiatus, General Striker has agreed to resume posting on the Boycott Everything blog! Look forward to industrial sized dollops of horse shit coming your way shortly!

Thankyaverramuch

THE FORCE THAT THROUGH THE GREEN FUSE DRIVES THE FLOWER

The force that through the green fuse drives the flower
Drives my green age; that blasts the roots of trees
Is my destroyer.
And I am dumb to tell the crooked rose
My youth is bent by the same wintry fever.

The force that drives the water through the rocks
Drives my red blood; that dries the mouthing streams
Turns mine to wax.
And I am dumb to mouth unto my veins
How at the mountain spring the same mouth sucks.

The hand that whirls the water in the pool
Stirs the quicksand; that ropes the blowing wind
Hauls my shroud sail.
And I am dumb to tell the hanging man
How of my clay is made the hangman's lime.

The lips of time leech to the fountain head;
Love drips and gathers, but the fallen blood
Shall calm her sores.
And I am dumb to tell a weather's wind
How time has ticked a heaven round the stars.

And I am dumb to tell the lover's tomb
How at my sheet goes the same crooked worm.

This 'stimulus' regime will never succeed in reviving the tattered world economy. President Hoover tried the same thing in 1930. It failed then and it will fail now.

However, as a means of redistribution of wealth the results the program will be a spectacular and enduring success. What we are witnessing is the inevitable result of liberal republican democracy-- Socialism- wherein all increasingly scarce resources will be henceforth rationed. ‘From each in accord with his abilities and to each in regard to his needs’ is an idea whose time has now arrived.

And to those who mourn for the ‘productive’ sector of society it’s high time for them to accede to the truth that the real problem with the world economy is not[i] lack[/i] of production but rather meaningless and destructive production. Entropic resolve. The overwhelming majority of the world's workers are engaged in transforming the earth into a vast strip-mine dedicated to producing abject shit for the benefit of those whom FDR called the 'economic royalists.' The famous graffiti at the Sorbonne during the New Paris Commune of 1968 will prove to be not only prescient, but will also serve as a warning: ‘Humanity will not be happy until the last capitalist is strung-up from the guts of the last bureaucrat.’

The foreshadowed New Revolution is quietly upon us. The Malthusian garrote, now tighted and drawn, has made it so.

Rage against the dying of the light.