Thursday, October 15, 2009

This just in from Apple

Miniature Nuclear Reactor Developed to Power New Iphones...

United Nuclear Labs of Albuquerque, NM has revealed a miniaturized nuclear power module for the Apple Iphone. The module runs on Element 115 and is smaller than a match head yet contains more power than the Hiroshima atomic bomb. Apple has announced that the device will be included on all new Iphone 32 Gig and higher 3GS units shipping as of July 19, 2009. Concerned scientists at Lawrence Livermore Nuclear Laboratory are said to have warned Apple that the unit can be easily converted to a fission bomb with only a paperclip and a tablespoon of baking soda. An Apple spokesman replied "...that the interests of Iphone users transcend any silly concern over obsolete bombs that are unlikely to be used on US territory in any case. Progress will not be sacrificed out of concern for a few hysterical anti-bomb, hippie scientists." In response to the potential threat posed by this new unit, Apple has proposed restricting the purchase of baking soda under the anti-terrorism provisions of the Patriot Act.