Friday, January 08, 2010

After a brief time to reflect on the most recent Koidal Drama I offer this synopsis.

Follow this foodfight at Amkon.

Even before our pizza-faced Quickie Mart slurpee jerker saw fit to accuse BE of issuing threats against the community there was another threat, a real threat, isssued in our name. It began with that most heinous of crimes- that of expropriating Hissels’ very name. In a pique of sanctimonious indignation Pack decided it was a good idea to force his nemesis to demonstrate some obligatory regimen of obeisance and contrition by stealing his very name- creating a website falsely attributed to Hissel that would link anyone searching his band back to the 200 page record of his humiliation at Amkon. The threat? Bow to me come to me with hat in hand, duly apologetic, for re-education. If you refuse- rest assured that your identity now belongs to Pack for the long war of endless torment.

Hazel and the famous Wall of Type

Who was this guy, Hissel, and what was he up to? Hazel answered that mystery early on. Averred she- this is a child at war with his own reality. MissA wondered if he were not a Raskolnikov. But I think that was not that. Hazel’s assessment was that he was in fact more of a Holden Caulfield lashing out at the electronic phonies who inhabit the internetz- and the real world beyond. And with that I agree.

What exactly was his Wall of Type?

What did it say and what was its purpose? To answer that question it is perhaps telling to consider not what it was but rather what it was not. It was not coherent Philosophy or a prolegomena to any Philosophical analysis. It was a manifesto, a spat slogan, a broadside, a shot across the bow of the community. It was not designed to enlighten us but rather to bring attention to a dysfunctional, generic teen-aged mal-content. It said, in effect, I am not You. I am a Necropulse, dead yet breathing, look at me- make me real. Hazel implied all this and she was correct.

The shameless attack

And our response to this perceived challenge? Marginalization, a demand for contrition. In short- gang rape. The leader of the gang?
Disguised as some sort of perverse minister, none other than Pack. For most of the Amkoids, the shitfest was good fun. Nothing serious happening here- just a rapidly tiring mouse for the big cats to toy with for a time. But there was also a moment, shameless in it’s degree of manipulation and degradation, when a line was crossed from playful tossing to sadism. It was the point when Hissels’s very name, the aggregation of his reality, was stolen from him. All your bases are now belong to us. Justice henceforth devoid of mercy. Your being, itself, appropriated for our own uses. This was no ordinary threat- no ‘we’ll beat your sill ass if you don’t comply’ kid of threat. No- this was an existential threat. ‘Be us or be nothing.’ It went well beyond Ducky’s absurd chest thumping challenge, well beyond Mojo’s incisive analysis, well beyond MissA’s motherly comfort, well beyond BE’s cross admonition concerning the use of the word ‘jew’ as a pronoun. The theft of the guy’s identity was more than that- it was an attack on the soul.

The slurpee jerker’s reaction

When I called attention to this very real threat of usurpation, naturally I was called for my own hypocrisy by none other than our Admin of the Year- Skunk. ‘Threat? Well what about you threatening the members here for years?’ he scolded. If there is one certainty in life it is that Skunk will always carry the water for his little gaggle of colleagues regardless of the merits of their positions. His approach is always the same- the proverbial. “So’s your old man.” Unable as he is to formulate any real analysis he relies on the very same method as Hissel to justify his inflated view of his own importance- the Manifesto. But unlike Hissel he does not defer to a Wall of Type- he’s incapable of that. His method has always consisted of carrying the piss bucket for the good ol’ boyz- whether they require one or not. That he could accuse me of issuing threats against the community is nothing short of blood libel. It is not simply untrue but a gratuitous and self-serving lie- the resort of an angsty sophomore when reason is beyond reach.

What should be done?

Hissel’s name should be given back to him. Period. This shameless and vindictive act of electronic theft is unbecoming of a member of Amkon, especially a staff member. Skunk should be shitcanned as an admin. If the rest of the admins, including the semi-retired Mojo, decide that he needs to be replaced there are several good choices here. My own choice would be MrPenny or Homingpigeon or both. Other than that- carry on, kids, and smoke em if ya got em.