Sunday, June 08, 2008


Kansas hail

The recent spate of hailstorms in Kansas, ranging in size from baseball sized in Lawrence to watermelon sized in Kansas City to Volkswagen sized in Wichita brought this comment on a popular Kansas website from your own BE News weather reporter:

To the long suffering people of Kansas

There's a bright side to bad weather ya know. Just look what happened in Denver. Back in the winter of '82 it's estimated that 48% of all Denvoids froze their asses off. But this event gave rise to a new industry which has recently been acknowledged as the largest commercial venture in the entire State of Colorado: VAPB, Inc. (Velcroe Attached Prosthetic Butts, Inc.) Now 26 years later there's a VAPB store (Asses R Us) in every strip mall in the state. And considering that an additional 57% of all Coloradans froze their asses off last winter the growth of this industry is off the charts.

Bearing that American success story in mind, I'm certain that new uses for Kansas hail is just around the corner.