UFO PROBLEM SOLVED BY GENERAL STRIKER!!
Said the General today:
Here's America's real problem concerning UFOs. We are a country whose greatest science minds are devoted to solving the conundrum of how many gallons of vile crud need to be burned in order to fly one contraption, three men and a bomb from Blefuscu to Lilliput. We're a backwater popsicle-stand of a planet and only of passing interest to the advanced civilizations visiting us. So put your head back in your butt and pay them no mind- you've got some Chinese shit to buy at Walmart.